I've stuttered since I was six. My mom did too, but she grew out of it. I haven't.
With friends and family? I'm mostly fine now. But throw me into an interview or meeting someone new, and suddenly I'm mapping out verbal escape routes and backup plans for when certain words just won't cooperate.
First impressions are a minefield when you stutter. Everyone's sizing you up: Are they confident? Knowledgeable? Professional? Meanwhile, I'm just trying to get the damn words out without tripping over consonants or falling into those dreaded silent blocks where nothing comes out at all. There was a time I'd rather text new acquaintances forever than meet them face-to-face. The thought of following up in person felt impossible. I'd rehearse even the simplest interactions, playing out scenarios where I'd need to say my name or order coffee.
As a designer, this affects me in ways most people never consider. I often let others take the presentation lead, not because I lack confidence in my ideas, but because the anxiety of performing verbally can be paralyzing. The creative concepts flow easily in my mind but get bottlenecked at my lips. Interview prep for me isn't just about researching the company or practicing answers. It's about having three different ways to explain the same concept using different sounds. It's about memorizing certain phrases so thoroughly they become automatic. It's about knowing my material so well that when Plan A words fail, I can seamlessly pivot to Plan B vocabulary without losing my train of thought.
I practice emphasis and intonation separately from content. Nothing says "this person is unprepared" like flat delivery, but when you're focusing 90% of your mental energy on just getting words out, expression is the first thing sacrificed. So I rehearse that too – where to pause naturally, where to sound enthusiastic, where to emphasize key points. Sometimes people mistake my speech patterns for nervousness or unfamiliarity with the material. Sometimes they're right – I am nervous, precisely because I'm anticipating the stutter. It's a frustrating cycle.
And yes, I probably make a bigger deal of this than necessary. Most people are more focused on what I'm saying than how I'm saying it. But when you've spent your life navigating around certain sounds and words, it's hard not to see your speech as the first thing others notice.
The irony isn't lost on me. As designers, we're taught to create seamless experiences – to anticipate pain points and build systems that feel effortless. Yet my own communication system requires constant maintenance, workarounds, and backup plans. I believe this makes me a better designer. I certainly understand friction points and user anxiety on a visceral level. Perhaps my greatest design project isn't on my portfolio – it's the daily work of crafting communication strategies that let my ideas shine through, even when my words occasionally fail me.
#SpeakingThroughDesign #StutteringAwareness #FirstImpressions #DesignPerspective #InvisibleChallenges
